My Daddy

Going to school full time and working full time is keeping me SUPER busy right now!! Working on a few wedding details here and there in my spare free time. This Saturday is a bridal affair at Purdon's rental company, which my mom will be attending with me since Quinn will be working all day. As most people know I lost my father to cancer when I was 15 years old. Time has made his absence a little less painful but there is not a day that goes by that he does not cross my mind. I miss him as if he were just here yesterday. I sometimes even talk to him in my head or I laugh out loud when something reminds me of him. I can't really remember what his voice sounds like but his face is always so clear. I swear he still hangs around my mom's house and messes with her stuff. Some evenings the touch lamp is on in her room when she hasn't been home all day. Ha ha. He has already missed so much, it hurts deeply to know he will not be here on my wedding day as well. Yes, I know he is watching over me and that he is proud of me...BUT none of that replaces his bodily presence. I was so glad my grandmother (his mother) was able to meet Quinn last April in California,before her passing this past fall, as well as two of my aunts (my dad's sisters). I knew even then that Quinn was the one. They say when you've met THE ONE, you just know, and that's true. As most  also know, I found my half siblings almost 2 years ago, my dad's other two children, Lawrence and Teresa. They are amazing people with amazing families. We've gotten to meet a few times already. We always make a way, regardless of distance, to see one another. Once I knew in my heart I would be spending the rest of my life with Quinn, I told Teresa over the phone while in Las Vegas that I was going to ask our father's only son to walk me down the aisle when the day came. He is the closest thing to my father I can get. That day came on December 12th. On December 13th Lawrence sent me a congratulations message and in turn I replied, "On that note, I was wondering if you would walk me down the aisle?" He accepted with great honor and that means more to me than he will ever know!! I get emotional at times when I think about my daddy not being here. Especially when I think about him walking me down the aisle or our father/daughter dance or him being a grandfather to my future child(ren). But I do admit, it brings me some comfort knowing that I have the next best people to help me with that day....my brother to give me away and my fiance to take me for the rest of our lives. I hope people that still have both of their parents understand and cherish the moments they have. Time and love is so precious, they are not something to be taken advantage of. I attended 4-5 weddings in 2012 and the hardest part was always listening to the song selection and watching the bride and her father dancing. With such an array of emotions going on, I pray I can make it through the rehearsal and ceremony without boohooing when our day comes. Live, Love, and Laugh!!